Eagles Need a Win Before the Universe Collapses

Space is collapsing, and so might the Eagles if they don’t win this weekend.

GALACTIC DOOM LOOMS EAGLES NEED A WIN

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CJGJ IS ONCE AGAIN A FREE AGENT

CJ Gardner-Johnson is officially a free agent again after a short stint with the Ravens, and it might be time for the Eagles to make a call. With the secondary wrecked by injuries and zero energy on defense, bringing back CJGJ could give the unit the swagger it’s been missing since he left. The guy makes plays, brings attitude, and, let’s be honest, Philly could use both right now.

WE MIGHT ACTUALLY GET TO WATCH EMBIID PLAY BASKETBALL SOON

For the first time in months, the Sixers have clawed their way back into this newsletter — mostly because the Phillies shattered our hearts into cosmic dust last week. But hey, there’s finally a glimmer of hope on Broad Street: Joel Embiid might actually play basketball again.

After eight brutal months of knee rehab, Nick Nurse says there’s a “chance” the MVP returns for the preseason finale — or at least opening night against Boston. It’s not much, but it’s something. The Phillies are gone, the city’s still grieving, and now we’re clinging to Embiid like he’s our last remaining emotional support system.

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VIRAL: IT’S TIME FOR PHILLY FANS TO FIGHT

THERE’S STILL TIME: PHANS OF PHILLY 🛫

Make sure you’re set for the upcoming NFL season and doing your part in turning every Eagles Away Game into a home game. No better way to travel than with Phans of Philly.

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